Quit being a damn baby WORKFORCE!

So maybe I'm bitter because I don't have a job in theory, or maybe I happen to be working with some odd balls? But I definitely feel compelled to share a few observations. Much like "What Not To Wear" please read "How not to act at work" or Quit being a damn baby WORKFORCE!
I know I act totally different at work than I do outside of work, but honestly, is it that hard?

FYI, playing poor pitiful me in front of a group of your peers gets you no where - or at least it shouldn't. Yes, it is true that no one is indispensable and everyone can be replaced at any time (they why the F aren't they?) However, there is no reason to feel like the world owes you something in your personal or professional life - keep those separate by the way.
If you receive a compliment (great) - say Thank You! Stop. Do not say anything else, quips such as "well, I try" or "well, if only..." again - Thank You! Stop.
It's one of the most un-nerving situations in the world to be in the middle of a meeting and people ramble on about how sad and sorrowful they've been working on a project and all the trials and tribulations it's caused on them and their families and people that don't even know them. It's your job, that's why it's called WORK!!!
NEVER throw your hands up and say "that ain't my job" or "I wasn't in charge of that." Just DON'T
While I'm on it - Please use PROPER ENGLISH GRAMMAR! No matter what setting you are in, emailing, on the phone, passing in the hall way - SPEAK/Type CORRECTLY! There are always exceptions to this - colloquial language is a great thing, it's what makes us who we are and keeps our heritage alive. However, slang and text type and colloquialisms are not work appropriate.

Ok, class, that concludes todays crazy...tune in for more crazy at a later time